How is this poem...................?

Can you say which lines are good and which are bad. And how can I improve ?





The inner fire burns without any flame


Anger, hatred and envy being firewood


Witheld, it gathers in the murky depths


light load grows hidden into heavy burden


fumes creates a most a ferocious monster


Infant fed a foul tasting milk from creator


Beneath stable soil flows red boiling magma


It seeks not but struggles for life given air


The father is devoured from the inside


A great battle and one is killed, suffocated


Chains broken, unbound it breaches the walls


All consumed, remains only a soft skin covering


Curtains are torn apart and terror begins





Calm cloud was father and lightening his son


Strike does fear as furious flames ignite


All reduced to ashes before dragon can die


Then shall the skies clear and heavens open


Ressurected, one lives again and breathes once more, his last

How is this poem...................?
Your Poem is lovely....Ii expresses reality as it is... But it sounds a litlle prosaic...try to use more flowery language and ofcourse try to divide your poem into equal stanzas.





Besides these ur poem is great.
Reply:All the poem lines is good, try to wright more poems and publish to web..





All the best
Reply:it's too sentimental but if u r a more sensible guy u will success with ur opera.
Reply:good
Reply:good one but i didn't understand it
Reply:it was very very very very very very very very very very good.


keep writting such poems